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  • Writer's pictureDaisy Valentine

A guide to Happiness? How to be present and create true balance

Updated: Apr 5, 2021

What does it mean to be happy? Happiness I believe is a singular state of acceptance, fulfilment and being fully present in that moment…

What is this “be present” notion all about?

To be “present” is to feel uninterrupted equilibrium in the moment, contentment and security, fully immersing yourself in the now and letting go of all external stresses and the insecurities that plague your mind.

You cannot feel contentment without awareness, awareness of your current surroundings, your state of mind and physical well-being.

These are our most primal needs on the survival check list before indulging ourselves and letting our attention take us to the “want” rather than “need” decisions in life.

Without these three basic fundamentals in place we are continually analysing our environment in a heightened state of alertness and performing subconscious risk assessments. This is an instinctual and non negotiable behaviour, we are all animals, be it conscious and well evolved animals but animals all the same.

Therefor the inability to be fully present in the moment is potentially that un-ticked, primal checklist preventing us from letting go of our insecurities and outward environmental stresses.

Individually we all have varying degrees of comfort, needs and insecurities, this is due to our past physical and environmental experiences dictating/controlling what we deem to be a secure enough environment

to let go and enjoy the now.

Thus i ask, are we holding our own selves back from feeling true uninhabited happiness and momentary bliss?

Happiness comes in all kinds of packages it has many different forms and faces, the feeling/meaning of true happiness is unique to everyone because you guessed it, we are all different with different wants, needs and tolerances in life. Humans are a beautifully diverse species and thus negative environmental factors and stress triggers are also diverse in how they effect us.

Understanding, being aware that not everyone is happy and productive in the same environment is a must, still we continue to judge others by our own perspectives and emotions…

– If I am happy and conditions ideal why aren’t you happy too?

You see, us beings are not pre-programmed robots with no emotion. We are highly evolved, consciously aware individuals whether we realise it or not, outward stimuli and exterior factors play a huge role in our inner state of well-being.

This is a common and often overlooked problem in today’s society primarily in schools and large office based environments. Everyday people subjecting themselves to the same unforgiving environmental conditions with the expectation that all will thrive and be successful. Yes some will thrive, be happy and succeed in their roles but others will struggle becoming increasingly stressed and the cycle of failure begins.

Those who do not perform and do well are then singled out for their inability to “fit in”. Self doubt begins to creep in and negative patterns begin to form, shaping the

way we see and value ourselves.

What is the answer to being happy? How do we all individually obtain this notion of bliss?

The answer is simple – We all have responsibilities if those responsibilities are not met the level of stress of course increases and happiness becomes an increasingly distant idea.

Setting ourselves clear and healthy boundaries is a good place to start.

Yes we all have responsibilities and life commitments in the form of bills to pay, kids, mortgages etc… These responsibilities are not what define us, they are not our sole purpose of existence.

Understanding that although we are all in the same boat and responsible for the same/similar lifestyles, we do have different individual needs and goals in life. Becoming more self aware and knowing your tolerances is an absolute and the key to being truly happy. 

Self awareness and unconditional kindness is unfortunately not practiced and present enough in everyday living, I believe this responsible for creating an epidemic of unhappy, unhealthy stress plagued people in mass.

Living in a continuous cycle of meeting others needs and expectations is an exhausting existence and cannot be sustained without paying the price with your mental and physical well-being. Realising that our self made titles and job roles are not who we are, they are merely a mask we wear and a role we play in order to pay for our lifestyle choices. 

We often forget to remove this mask and become lost in the role, forgetting who we are and falling deeper into ill set patterns and unhealthy environments. This my friends is a choice and we can choose differently.

Life is a gift and if you are handed a gift it is yours to do as you will. Life is yours for the taking and you get to choose the outcome and where it takes you. 

We just have to remember that we are all here doing the same thing, on the same life journey and above all… Want to be Happy.

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